They Weren't There
by beezeswim
Summary: tim/julie He's looking down at her with a playful grin and she's pretty sure that this going to end badly.
1. Lights & Buzz

Disclaimer: I don't own anything – but I wouldn't mind owning Coach Taylor or Riggins.

A/N: This has been in my brain for awhile, I'm not sure what it is about these two- it just makes sense.

**Prologue: Lights & Buzz**

_Streets look the same, still nothing's as it was_

_This place is paradise I'm sure, here's my reservation_

_I've gotten lost here once before_

She's never been big on praising Texas, but there is something about the sun setting on Friday nights and the stadium lights flickering on that poets and painters would love. It's been awhile since she stood in the stands in Dillon and watched a football game with bated breath, holding her Mama's hand and praying for a win.

There are ghosts that haunt this field she thinks, looking up at the bleachers. She can still feel the ache of watching Jason Street that fateful Friday, and she can still feel the innocent wonder of seeing Matt throw the football with confidence.

They lived in lots of places before Dillon, but this place, marked with both joy and tragedy will always be home to Julie. This place forever tied to first loves and friendships that she still holds close to her heart.

She's almost excited for the first football game of the season, to be a part of something like_ this _again. To stand and cheer for her Daddy's team, because whether he's the coach or one of his previous players, it'll always be Eric Taylor's team in her mind.

"Should I even ask why you're here Taylor?" She shouldn't be surprised that it's the head coach now taking her from her memories, remembering her Daddy's late nights in the office going over game film, or agonizing over starting positions.

"Sorry Coach." Her voice is hesitant as she turns to meet his gaze.

There is a light in his eyes that has Julie smiling; he's always been able to make the girls grin. "It's ok; it's nice to see a Taylor pacing that sideline again."

His tone is serious, but accompanied with a smirk that sends Julie into a fit of giggles. "I'm pretty sure it's my ass that you think is nice Coach."

They are both laughing now, and it's nice to stand under the stars and forget for a moment who they are, and what they were.

It's been almost ten years since that first state championship, since that season that changed them all, forever tying them to each other and to this place. In high school she and Tim Riggins may have danced around the same social circle, but the years have made them old friends, and it's nice to see a smile on his face.

They stand now, enjoying the silence, and she looks at him out of the corner of her eye. He's staring at the sky, and she can see a wish flicker across his face. It's a look she recognizes, it's the look of a general about to lead his troops to battle, it's the look her father had before a game, one of determination, fear, and hope.

Her voice is barely a whisper, but he turned to meet her gaze even before she started speaking. "You can pray Tim, but I'm pretty sure you're the one who gets the credit for the win, and the blame for a loss, not god."

He's silent for a little while, searching her face for something more. "Thanks for the advice Taylor, but what the hell are you doing on my field?"

She was finishing up moving stuff into her classroom, and getting her lessons plans ready when she saw the lights. "I don't know, just wanted to be here." If anyone would understand it would be Tim, the pull of the stadium lights, and the need to just lose your self, for a moment, in the memories.

"I get it." Julie thinks for a minute that's the end of it and he's going to walk away, but he surprises her.

"Your Dad said you're working here now, teaching advanced English?" It's a question that he already knows the answer to, and she's not sure if she wants to plays along.

"Yes, I'm taking over for Mr. Grady. You already knew all of this Tim. You probably heard it from my Dad, Tyra, probably Street who heard if from Lyla, who might have also told you, so really you can just ask the question." She's tired of these games everyone's been playing with her since she moved back to Dillon, she was hoping that Riggins wouldn't bother with the polite bullshit.

"You left him." It's not so much of a question, but it's better than anything anyone else has said these past couple weeks. It's blunt and too the point and quintessentially him.

"I did." A part of Julie wants to leave it at that, because even though she walked away from Matthew Saracen over 18 months ago there are still some wounds that haven't healed, but Tim's eyes are looking at her like he understands so she just keeps talking as she sits down on the grass, putting her head in her hands. "I wasn't that person anymore, _that girl_. I'm not sixteen, I couldn't just be with one person my entire life. I wasn't ready for babies, or marriage. I just…sometimes I would wake up and feel like I was suffocating. I loved him. I just needed out."

Julie surprised herself and Tim with her honesty but he just sits down on the damp grass next to her and looks at her, but this time it's like he's really seeing her and a part of her wants to touch him. Instead they just sit like that, looking up at the sky, wondering how they got here- how they became these people.

It's Tim who finally breaks the silence, looking her in the eyes as he talks," You went to Africa right?- taught them kids with the flies to like read and stuff?" Julie's laughing now, belly laughs, which eventually bring tears to her eyes, because for the first time since she got back to Dillon it really feels like home.


	2. Hanging by a Moment

Disclaimer: Same as last time.

A/N: Reviews are welcome & appreciated!

**Chapter One: Hanging by a Moment**

_Forgetting all I'm lacking  
completely incomplete  
I'll take your invitation  
you take all of me now_

Twining the telephone cord around her fingers as she hangs pictures Gracie drew on the fridge Julie wonders if it will ever be possible for her Dad to let go.

"Sweetheart, I'm just saying you should give that boy a call." She doesn't want to hear Matt's soft drawl filled with sadness, doesn't want to listen to questions she doesn't have answers to.

"Daddy, I saw Tim Riggins last week." It's an attempt to change the subject, bring the conversation to Panther football, another topic Eric Taylor won't ever stop agonizing over.

"Really how's he doing? He's really made something out of himself that boy – man." He's a proud father, not just when it comes to his girls, but his players to. She knows that the first state team has a special place in his heart, especially his captains. He never really let them travel far. She can recall over hearing conversations where he was hassling Smash about his game, or giving out advice to Jason on handling his high school sweetheart turned wife. She can't forget about Matt, she thinks bitterly, Daddy was always giving him tips how to back into his daughters life.

But it's Tim that managed to amaze him, because it's Tim who followed in his Coach's footsteps. He worked hard senior year, ended up with a scholarship to Texas Tech, after that an assistant coaching job at Dillon. Five short years later he's become the head coach, growing into a man just like her Daddy, giving him a special place in the Taylor family.

"He's doing fine," and looking fine Julie thinks, because if Timothy Riggins was good looking at seventeen he is painfully attractive at twenty-seven. That pretty face still framed with his signature long locks, which are slightly less messy now. His torso that even covered with a t-shirt was obviously all angles and hard muscle. "But I'm sure you knew that already. I bet you are calling him everyday bothering him with plays and stats."

Gracie's giggling in the background now, and she can hear her Mama yelling a greeting over the line. Sometimes she can misses them so much it aches, but then she remembers her Daddy's neurosis and her Mom's overbearing personality and the distance between Austin and Dillon is definitely not far enough. "That may be so Jules that may be so; I'm surprised he didn't mention seeing you." Julie's not shocked Tim didn't tell her Dad, he was known for keeping things close to his chest and she even hesitated bringing it up.

Something about that meeting struck a chord in her. It was one of those private moments, that there aren't really words to describe. "Well Daddy I have to go, I got lots of things to do before tomorrow, love you"

Suddenly she just wants him off the line, and she can tell he's distracted by Tami and Grace. "Oh I love you baby, good luck with your first day, and your Mama says call her later."

The phone call ends and she's left alone in her little rental house- that's finally starting to feel like a home. She doesn't really have any errands, but she's so nervous about her first day she might vomit, so stopping by Dillon High to double check her room and lesson plans probably isn't a bad idea.

* * *

Pulling into the parking lot a half hour later she's shocked that Tim's pick up is the only other car in the lot. Julie's not really sure why it's Tim's office and not her classroom she heads to after exiting her car. She's not really ready to think about why Tim Riggins hasn't left her mind since she saw him last Friday, not ready to let her brain travel down that road.

Its Sammy Meade's voice that she hears when she pushes open the door to the fitness room. His never ending commentaries on Panther football brings her back to car rides with her parents, listening to that voice critique and doubt her father. She's not shocked to hear that now Tim's his target.

Walking into the weight room she can feel her body flush immediately because she might have suspected that Tim had the body of a Greek god, but watching him bench press his frustrations out wearing nothing but gym shorts and sweat, she's now positive.

Julie's attempting to catch her breath as he replaces the weights and turns towards her. Sammy's got a caller on the line who is spitting hateful words about Tim's family calling his father an alcoholic, and his mother a whore. When he turns to meet her gaze there is vulnerability in his eyes, a pain she hasn't seen in eight years.

"Turn it off Tim, just turn it off." A part of her wants to hug him, to give him some sort of comfort, even if it's just temporary. Her Dad told her that there was a lot of talk before they hired Tim. It bothered her then, knowing that painful past events were brought up, especially after he worked so hard to turn his life around. He brushes past her to get to the radio and switches it off.

He starts talking, looking out the window onto the field, and comfortably leaning against the glass. It hits her that this was what he must have been doing the other night when he ran into her on the field.

"I'm not my parents," he starts " I don't drink anymore." It's matter of fact. She knows Tim hasn't drank since a drunk driver killed Jackie two years after graduation, leaving Billy with a step son and more grief than a person should have to bare. She recalls the funeral and how Bo followed Tim around like a shadow, both of them completely lost in their own personal sadness.

Along with football, Dillon also does funerals well, loud gatherings filled with good food and sympathy, but this one was particularly sad.

For a moment it seems like he's drowning in memories and his next comment lets Julie knows that his train of thought paralleled hers.

"He's my QB1, Bo is." She knows this but Tim isn't asking for a confirmation so she steps next to him, placing her palm on his bare back.

"Bo's a good kid. He's my neighbor now; I'm living next to Billy and him. He helps me with my groceries, he's gonna' be in my English class this semester." She's just talking now because she's not sure she can handle the silence anymore. "He even offered to clean out my rain gutters."

The last thing Julie expects is for Tim to laugh and wrap his arms around her. "Thanks Jules." His breath is hot on her neck, and her toes are curling in anticipation. She misses this, hearing a heart beat against her ear and the feeling of a hard body against hers.

They break apart and Tim reaches for a t-shirt.

"I talked to my Dad for a while today. He said you guys talk a lot?" He smirks at her statement, holding back another laugh.

"Your Daddy has been a pain in my ass since the moment I walked on to that football freshmen year. Then it was yelling about being drunk at practice, and running wind sprints. Now it's 'that team is fast Rigs' 'your boy ready for this Rigs' 'no pressure Rigs' 'Buddy Garrity is a fool…don't listen to Sammy Mead'. " Julie knows her smile is almost reaching ear to ear as she looks at his backside, following him into his office.

"I'm glad that there is someone else on Eric Taylor's call sheet every night now." She's looking towards the field as her voice gets soft, "you talk to Matt often?" She certainly can't ask her Daddy about Matt and because of Landry Tyra also gets stuck in the middle.

"Every once in a while," She can almost feel his eye burning holes in the back of her head. "Why?"

Julie bites the bullet and turns to look at Tim. "I'd just like to know if he's ok."

"I haven't talked to him in awhile, but last I heard from Tyra he was doing fine. He's opened up a store in New Orleans selling oil paintings or something, and he's coaching the JV football team at some local high school."

A part of her wants to cry for the future she threw away. The diamond ring that still sits in the bottom of her jewelry box; the wedding invitations never addressed that are located in her hall closet are a constant reminder of what she gave up. Hearing about his life without her almost takes her breath away. Her Matt, the Matt that was willing to leg wrestle instead of have sex, the Matt that faced down her Daddy, the Matt that waited for her while she made mistake after mistake in High School.

Tim and her aren't really looking at each other, but he's asking her if she wants to go somewhere and she's not even surprised when she nods her head 'yes' and takes his hand.


	3. At the Beginning

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the song At the Beginning, not Friday Night Lights, and only in my wildest fantasies do I own Tim Riggins.

**Chapter Two: At the Beginning**

_We were strangers starting out on our journey  
never dreaming what we'd have to go through.  
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing  
at the beginning with you_

They are both holding on to memories Julie thinks as she dips her toes into the cold lake water, the boat rocking underneath her. Tim's grinning, shirtless once again, leaning against the back of the boat sipping from a bottle of water, and looking completely relaxed. "Me, Jay and Lyla used to spend a lot of time out here growing up. Jay and I'd fish and she'd scream about how gross it was."

"You miss them don't you?" It's casual conversation, and she's sort of shocked to find that Tim isn't bad at it.

"Yeah, it's tough with them being in Chicago but we talk once or twice a week." He's digging through the cooler now for the sandwiches they stopped and picked up on Seventh Street, he hands her a grilled vegetable hoagie and she almost shivers when their fingers graze.

Tim's looking down at her with a playful grin and she's pretty sure that this is going to end badly. She can't remember the last time she had butterflies like this, her heart is racing, and for once Julie just wants to be happy with this. She wants to let herself fall, not over think or over analyze.

So she just sits back and eats her lunch and vows to enjoy this ride.

* * *

The bell's ringing and it takes all of Julie's self control not to pack up her own tote and jet from the class room. This has been one of the longest weeks of Julie Taylor life and it's only Thursday. She's about to just put her head in her hands and sigh when she spots Bo Riggins standing in her door way.

"What's up Bo?" He's grown up into a good kid, shaggy blonde hair and a personality the size of Texas, it's almost hard to believe that this well adjusted teenager was raised by the same man who raised Tim. She thinks that maybe Billy learned from his mistakes.

"Coach Riggins wanted to see you in his office." Just when she comes to the conclusion that their isn't anything of Tim in Bo he gives her one of those smartass half smiles that she has grown accustomed to over the past couple of weeks.

"Can you tell him I'll stop by practice? I got some stuff to do around here first." She's shuffling through paperwork that needs to go to the administrative office and a couple requests for the guidance counselor.

"Sure thing Ms. Taylor."

Forty-five minutes later she's standing on the side of the field watching as the coaching staff attempts to mold a bunch of boys into State Champions. She laughs as she over hears Tim lecture a tight end on coming to practice hung over, and he must have heard her over the sound of grunts and screams of the Defensive coordinator because he looks towards her and shakes his head.

Moments after that he's standing by her side running his fingers through his unruly locks in a gesture that reminds her so much of her father. "So, how has your week been going Ms. Taylor?"

"It's been good, long, stressful, but good. It's satisfying to know that I'm getting a chance to make a change in these kids' lives." She looks at him with a grin, "you know how it is, one minute they're making you laugh, and the next you want to strangle them."

He's wringing his hands, and his feet are shuffling, and if he wasn't Tim Riggins she would think he's nervous. "What about you?"

"Stressful. They are killing me, showing up drunk at practice, Bo's too busy thinking about ways to get in some cheerleaders pants to remember plays….I'll lose my job if this season doesn't go well. This town is hungry for a championship. They haven't won one since your Daddy left." He's looking for some kind of reassurance, and she recalls whispered conversations late at night between her parents.

"You'll do fine Tim. They'll do fine. They're good boys. I've gotten to know them over the past couple of days. They respect you- they want to make you proud. They'd follow you to the end of the line Tim- just like you did with my Dad. They know you're one of them, you listen to them, you respect them, you don't judge." She gives him a wry grin, "maybe the drinking and the womanizing is God giving you a taste of your own medicine."

Suddenly she's in his arms, and she can feel fifty sets of eyes on her as he whispers a "Thanks" in her hair.

She's adjusting her shirt as they untangle themselves, and he's giving her a look she hasn't seen yet.

"I have a question for you, and you can't just say no, you have to think about it. Tonight there is a pep rally at Garrity Motors, you know the tradition, everyone stands around and peppers me with questions and speculates about how long I'll last as coach." She opens her mouth to cut him off, because she did her duty as daughter of the football coach and there is no way he's getting her to go to an event sponsored by Buddy Garrity. "Before you say anything, think about it. I don't drink anymore Jules, I won't make it without someone to help me escape and to protect me from the masses. Plus if you're there maybe they'll spend some of the time asking about your parents."

He looks so pathetic; she can't help but agree to go.

She's walking away wondering what the hell she just said she'd do when he yells "I'll pick you up at six Taylor."

She turns around giving him a pained grin, and a thumb's up.

This is going to be a long night.

* * *

"What do you mean your going to the Kick off Rally at Garrity Motors?" Her Mom is holding back laughter, and Julie's just staring at the pile of clothes littering her bed.

"Mom, I've told you this six times already. Tim asked me to go with him; you know protect him from the vultures. I agreed, and now while I seriously regret it, I'm having a clothing crisis and I need your help."

"Deep breaths Julie, it's a pep rally not the Oscars. Put on that cute printed wrap dress, leave your hair down, and wear your cross on the long chain." She wants to laugh when she realizes the wrap dress is about the only thing still hanging in her closet, picking it up and grabbing a pair of wedges.

"Thanks Mom. I'd love to chat but Tim's gonna' be here in like ten minutes. I'll call you when I get home?" She's tying the dress closed and grabbing her cross off the dresser when she hears her Daddy on the other end of the line.

"Is this a date? Are you going on a date with Tim Riggins?" His voice sounds like a memory and she can see herself at sixteen, standing in that living room with a lump in her throat.

"It's not a date Dad It's a favor for a friend, and tell Mom to stop laughing." She closes the phone shut just as there is a knock at the door. Her heart is racing and she just wishes she could convince her self that this isn't a date.

He's standing in the glow of her front door light, and just when she thinks she's gotten used to the way Tim looks he takes her breath away one more time. It doesn't help that he's looking her up and down with an intimate look she's not quite familiar with.

"Looking good Jules," his voice is just as intimate as the look in his eyes, and she's pretty sure that she's blushing as she bends down to slip her shoes on.

"Thanks Tim, you don't look half bad your self." He actually ran a comb through his hair and put a button down shirt on with a pair of khakis.

"Well, what are we waiting for Taylor? Let's get out of here."

The car ride to the dealership is the calm before the storm, and as they pull in the parking lot, she can feel her palms sweat. "They're going to ask me about Matt."

He's opening the door for her and taking her hand. "And you can tell them to mind their own fucking business. You don't need to listen to Buddy Garrity lecture you about leaving his star quarterback, or the god damn mayor talk about letting the town down. It's a crock of shit, you're an adult. I'm sure you get enough crap from your Dad, you don't need to listen to it from anyone else."

That's the end of it, and when they walk into the party there are about a hundred sets of eyes on them, she looks down at there linked fingers and it hits her. It isn't Matt they are going to be asking about.

An hour later Tim's on the stage promising a victory, and she's contemplating escape routes. When the running back's mother invites her to join the book club she begins devising ways to murder Tim for getting her into this mess.

She knows that when Buddy spotted them huddled in a corner laughing while Tim told her about the sexual propositions he received from many of his player's mothers, she sealed her fate. Her Daddy was most definitely getting a phone call.

The team was stepping down from the makeshift stage with the 'rallying' portion of the evening being completed and Tim was headed toward her. "I'm hoping that you found an acceptable escape route, because if I don't get out of here soon I'm going to scream."

She laughs and points out an emergency exit behind the refreshment table. "I'm thinking that we can slide out that door, and no one will notice till they have a question for you about what strategy you're gonna' use to take down Arnett Meade tomorrow night."

He's pulling her towards the door without even bothering to respond, and she can't help but let out a giggle as he turns to look at her with a patented Riggins' grin. "Now where are we gonna' go?"

She doesn't answer until he's opening the door to the pickup and there is barely a breath in between them. She can almost taste his smile when she says "It doesn't really matter does it?"

He looks like sin in the light of the parking lot, with a glint in his eyes, and his shirt sleeves rolled up and for the second time today she can't help but wonder what the hell she just got herself into.

But this time she can't wait to find out.


	4. Come On Get Higher

Disclaimer: In my fantasies I own Tim Riggins, and yeah it's as hot as it sounds. Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson.

**Chapter Three: Come On Get Higher**

_If I could tell you what's next,  
make you believe, make you forget.  
Come on get higher loosen my lips,  
faith & desire & the swing of your hips  
just pull me down hard & drown me in love_

When he kisses her the first time she thinks she might faint. She knows that he's more experienced then her and as his lips trace a trail from her ear to her collarbone she can admit that the practice has served him well.

He's pulling away from her neck, and their noses are grazing as he presses his forehead against hers. Julie hasn't felt this alive in years.

"I like doing this with you." He says against her mouth pressing a light kiss on the corner of her lips.

"Me too," she whispers back. They had been making out like teenagers for what seemed like hours while sitting on the empty bleachers, looking out upon the dark field.

She rests her head against his chest, listening to his heart race, and let's herself fall into this moment.

"I'm not really sure how we ended up here Tim." Her voice sounds foreign to her own ears.

"Well we got to the football field in my truck after we booked it from the Pep Rally, but if you're talking about how we got here," he places another kiss on her lips "I'm not really sure, but I like it."

"I didn't mean either of those things Tim, but thanks for clearing that up." She's laughing now in that carefree way she hasn't done in a long time. "I mean how did we end up in our twenties, making out like sixteen year olds in the Panther Stadium? But-" He cuts her off before she can even finish talking.

"Taylor, I might not be as smart as you, but I've lived an awful lot. I've learned that sometimes it's good to not ask questions and just enjoy it."

They sit like that, tangled together, for a little while longer before walking back to his car hand in hand.

He swings his truck into her driveway and slides it into park before knotting his hands into her hair and pulling her lips to his once again. She's drowning in him, he isn't as gentle as before, and she likes him this way, a bit rough around the edges.

They break away and she smiles against his mouth. "You have a big day tomorrow Coach, get some sleep."

With that she opens the door and eases out of the pickup with weak knees and a rapidly beating heart. "Wait" He's chasing after her and a part of her wants to hit him for ruining her exit.

"You aren't coming in." They are standing on her porch and he's digging into his pockets for something, and hands her a crumpled piece of paper. She looks at him quizzically.

"Uh, thanks Tim."

He smiles at her once again and turns to leave. "It's a ticket for the game Taylor, no excuses. Be there. I want to see you." He calls over his shoulder. "You're gonna' be my new good luck charm."

Once again just when she thinks she has Tim Riggins all figured out he goes and does something like this. She watches his tail lights disappear down the street before unlocking her door and entering the house.

* * *

Juggling two coffees and a bag of bagels Julie expertly maneuvers her way though the halls towards Tim's office. It's silly but a part of her is enjoying this, for once she gets to be the girl handing over treats to the hot boy on game day. Giggling at the ridiculousness of the situation, she uses her hips to push open the door, yelling her greeting to the assistant coaches as she passes. 

He's turned from her, leaning against his desk and grunting into the phone when she enters. Even the back half of him is gorgeous, she muses setting the to-go cups down on his desk and pulling the bagels from the bag.

When she fell asleep last night his scent still lingered on her skin, and she can't help but wonder if he thought of her in those moments before drifting off. She's snapped from her idle daydreams by a murmured curse and the slamming of his cell on the desk.

His eyes meet hers, and then there is a quick flash of teeth and she can already feel the butterflies in her stomach. "You didn't have to do this Jules."

"I know." She returns his smile, handing the reins over to him, because she took the first step, and now it's his turn to figure out this weird relationship they've begun.

"That was the Arnett Meade Coach, he's an ass." He looks at her and smiles again, and she's ninety nine percent sure that she's going to explode. She wishes that she could talk to someone about this, because you aren't supposed to feel like this after a couple days spent together and a few stolen kisses.

"What happened?" She asks before taking a bite of her bagel, washing it down with black coffee.

"Nothing in particular, he was questioning a couple of my boys' eligibility, stupid shit. He just wants to get under my skin." Her mouth is full so she just gives him a nod and a smile. "I'm freaking out Jules, this is like the biggest day of my life. I can't fuck this up. I can't. I need to win."

A part of her wants to laugh at the absurdity, of a high school football game being the biggest event of his life, but she remembers fights in the kitchen between her parents and her Dad's shaky voice as he promised her that Dillon was for good, making promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

"It'll be okay Tim. You can do this." She's trying to be reassuring but she feels like she's falling short. "My Dad called last night when we were out and left a message, they're coming to the game." Hoping that will bring some sense of comfort.

"I know he called this morning." His smile is tight and he can't quite meet her gaze. This is bad, this is very, very bad. She figured she'd have today to come up with something to tell her parents when they arrived later this afternoon.

"What did he say Tim?" She can see he's trying hard not to laugh at her barely controlled anger.

"Nothing, just asked why I was touching his first born, and if I ever planned on having children, and something about my hands, and if I found them useful. Eventually he came around and asked me about the game, my strategy, he gave me some pointers." He looks up from his lap, his eyes meet hers, and she can't help but blush at the unspoken suggestion that lies in them. "That was only after I explained that I respected his daughter, as a friend," the mischievous grin is back on his face, "and blatantly lied to him about where my hands had been."

Her face is red, from embarrassment, remembering quite clearly where his hands had been. "Thanks Tim, I'll talk to them about it tonight."

"I figured it's up to you. They're your parents, I owe your Dad a lot, and honestly your Mom scares the shit out of me."

She likes the history here, likes that most guys would be terrified of 'The Eric Taylor', she finds comfort in the fact that Tim knows who really wears the pants in the Taylor family.

"My parents have always liked you, and well I'm pretty sure we're not at the telling the parents point of this," she's using her hands to gesture to the space between the two of them, hoping Tim will get the point.

He just gives her a questioning look, like there are so many things he wants to ask her but he's not quite sure how to get the words out. Then the bell is ringing, and the moment is lost, and she's picking up her tote bag off the ground.

"Good luck tonight Coach Riggins." He laughs at her back as she turns and blows him a kiss and Julie can't help but feel like this is going to all work out okay.

* * *

It's different than it used to be, she's not filled to the brim with the rush of first love, but the anxiety coiling in her belly is all familiar. People are shouting well wishes to her and her Mama as they weave through the crowd. Julie grins when she spots her Daddy leaning over the fence wishing Tim luck, Gracie's hand enveloped in his. 

"You gonna' tell me what's going on with you and Timothy Riggins?" Her Mom has followed her line of sight to the group down by the field.

Julie's tempted to just tell her that she'll let her know when she figures it out, but she's learned from experience that getting smart with her Mama isn't the best plan so she settles with the truth.

"I'm not really sure." Tami's looking into her eyes, expecting to see something else, but Julie figures that she's only going to find confusion.

"Oh, Baby" Suddenly Julie's all wrapped up in Tami's arms and she's not quite sure what the hell is going on, but she figures that a hug isn't going to hurt so she lets her Mama hold her tight. "You are falling for that boy."

Julie can feel her eyes widen as they break apart and settle down into their seats, leaving space for Eric and Gracie Belle. "I am not falling for him Mom. We're just friends."

The words just leave her mouth when Tim finds her in the crowd, sending her a signature grin and a wink. The laughter in Tami's voice is barely controlled when she speaks. "You were saying? He was looking at you like he wanted to –"

Julie cuts her off hearing Eric's voice in the distance, "Mom, you say one thing about this in front of Daddy and I will kill you."

Tami's whispering into her ear as her Dad and sister join them. "I promise I won't say anything to him Jules, but I want the details later."

"What are you two whispering about over here? No secrets in the Taylor family." Her Dad is squeezing in next to them as the game begins, and Julie's wondering if she's the only one who thinks it's weird to have him here in the stands.

"Nothing Daddy," she plants a kiss on a cheek, and gives her Mom a look over his shoulders, reminding her one last time to zip it.

"That ain't going to work Princess. I'll get that information from your Mother eventually."The whistle blows, signifying the start of the game and Julie is just praying that she'll survive the next two hours.

The first three quarters fly by, without either team scoring. Julie's holding her breath, and wringing her hands at the start of the fourth. The air is tense, and Julie can't help but wonder if Tim's thinking of Street as Bo completes a pass for a first down. When Bo runs the ball for a touchdown Julie looks for Tim on the side lines and sees no trace of grief or regret, only pride, and thinks that maybe he's managed to escape that set of demons.

Gracie's eyes are wide as she looks out at the sea of gold and blue, everyone on their feet screaming with raw voices as the clock runs down and Slammin' Sammy Meade announces a 7-0 victory for Dillon over Arnett Meade.

When the crowd moves to rush the field Eric's yelling to Tami that he's going to go congratulate the team, and before she even recognizes what she's doing she's grabbing his hand and following him through the mess of people.

When they reach the field it takes her a couple minutes to find Tim and when she does he's surrounded by a group of men in blue shirts, Coach Taylor being one of them. Then she's in Tim's arms and the people fade away and she can only think of him. He smells like bar soap, grass and corn bread. He's whispering into her ear, and his breath against her skin has her stomach doing flips.

"We won." She's laughing at him as he rubs his nose against hers.

"I know." Her voice is husky from all the yelling, and maybe from being this close to him. He kisses her, suddenly her heart is in her throat and desire is pooling in her belly, and in that short moment she's absolutely sure that her Mom's right.

She's falling for Tim Riggins.

Then, just when Tim's hands find the back pockets of her jean skirt, she hears her father in the background. Julie breaks apart from him pushing against his chest.

"What's wrong?" His confusion is short lived as her Dad comes into his line of sight.

"I thought you said you weren't touching my daughter?" He isn't yelling, but she's become an expert on his tone and she's sure that Tim can also recognize the barely restrained anger.

Julie thinks that maybe she can diffuse the situation with laughter, but thinks better of it and instead pushes Tim in the opposite direction and whispers for him to run. "I'll deal with this, you better go." He's smirking at her as he goes to join his team in the locker room, and she knows that he's remembering the last time her father saw the two of them in a compromising position.

"Where'd he go? Ran away like the punk ass kid he is. That boy is not good enough for you Julie. He's a – " Julie cuts him off because she figures that at twenty-seven she's old enough to make her own decisions, and her knees are still shaky and she's really not in the mood to listen to an Eric Taylor lecture.

"- man, Dad not a boy. He's a grown up, and he's responsible, and sweet. He's nothing but respectful to me. You get to have an opinion Daddy, but you don't get to tell me what to do anymore." She's not going to say anything more about this here, so she leans up to give him a kiss and lets him know that she'll see him at her house.


	5. Sober

Disclaimer: I don't own FNL, Kelly Clarkson, or the West Wing quote I jammed in here. Points if you can ID it.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I've had half this chapter done for like two weeks & then real life got in the way. Got to love the flu & having three papers due in one week. Review please!

**Chapter Four: ****Sober**

_And I don't know, __I could crash and burn but maybe_

_at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me._

_So__ I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right_

_No comparing, second guessing, no not this time._

The house smells like her Mama's pancakes and is filled with Tyra's husky laughter and Gracie's high pitched giggles. If she had to guess Tyra probably arrived just in time to help out her Mom with breakfast this morning. For a minute Julie feels like she's stepped back in time because this is what a Saturday morning after game day is supposed to feel like. She realizes that this is one of those moments when it seems like everything is perfect, because the sun is shining, and her new house finally feels like a home.

In this moment she can remember what it was like to kiss Tim in the blissful afterglow of his first win, what it was like to lose herself in him, without remembering the disappointed way her father looked at the two of them.

Then she's hears his voice, for a minute she thinks maybe she's still sleeping but it's ringing out clear as a bell, and she can't locate her robe and slippers fast enough.

"Good morning ya'll." He's being polite, Julie thinks to herself as she walks towards the kitchen.

"You gotta death wish Tim?" Tyra's gaping at Tim from her seat at the kitchen table. She is still as beautiful as ever, all lean muscle and big green eyes, and Julie's glad she decided to come down from Austin for the weekend to spend some time with her and the rest of the Taylor clan.

Tim's speechless for a moment and Julie wonders if it's the shock of Tyra in her kitchen that has him so quiet but quickly realizes that his eyes are fixed on her.

"Hey." It's a mumbled greeting as she enters the kitchen, trying to be ambivalent about the fact that Tim seems to be undressing her with his eyes while her parents, baby sister and best friend watch.

"Good morning there sleepy head," Tyra's up from her chair and wrapping Julie up in a hug as she hisses in her ear. "You're Mom filled me in on last night, but you know I'm going to need to know what the hell was going through your mind when you decided to kiss Tim Riggins in front of the entire town of Dillon."

When she untangles herself from the embrace she turns to see her father, perched in front of the coffee pot, his eyes locked on Tim. Julie's had enough of this, and figure if her Dad can't accept that she's all grown up then it's his issue, not hers. But before she can speak her Dad's voice cuts through the silence.

"You want some coffee Riggins?" Tim's mumbling a 'sure' and the tension is draining from the room as Eric hands him a mug. Relief is written across Tim's brow and Julie figures he must have come here expecting a battle.

"I just stopped by to say thanks for coming last night. It meant a lot to have you guys there. "Tyra's offering Tim an apology for missing his debut, and her Mama's giving him a hug as her Dad pats him on the back. Julie can't help but wonder what in the world her Mom said to her Dad last night to cause this change of heart, but Julie is grateful that instead of dealing with a fight this morning she gets to watch this love fest.

While they gather in the kitchen, filling in Tyra on last night's events Julie slips into her bedroom to throw on some jeans and an old TMU t-shirt, which might have one belonged to Matt. Walking back towards the kitchen she finds her Dad and Tim laughing over Sports Center while Tyra's whispering god knows what into Gracie's ears,as they help her Mom with the breakfast dishes.

"Hey sweetheart," It's her Dad's voice, but it's Tim she's looking at. He's making motions with his head towards the door.

"Hey Daddy," She plants a kiss on his cheek once she joins the pair in the living room. "I'm 'gonna walk Tim over to Billy's, tell Mama I'll be right back." They head to the front door, and when Tim intertwines their fingers Julie can't help but look up at him and grin.

"This was awfully brave of you Coach Riggins, coming here to face the whole Taylor family."

He's smirking, at her as they make the way through the door. "I wouldn't have stopped by if I knew that I'd find Collette in your kitchen. The damage that one can do far outweighs anything that Coach Taylor could come up with." They are laughing together now, and he's pulling her close, tucking her head against his chest.

They stop walking halfway between her house and Billy's, and for a minute it's like the entire world has opened up. The sun seems to be shining just a little brighter as he lifts her chin, their mouth's meeting. He taste like coffee, and a little like smoke, and in that brief minute she realizes that there is a lot she doesn't know about Tim Riggins. After a few minutes she's arching into his kiss, and it's like every cell in her body just wants to get closer.

They part, they're both breathing deep, and she buries her head into his chest, just to listen to his heart beat and reassure herself that this is something real.

"You are something else Julie Taylor." She figures she should at least try to look put out by his statement, but she can't help but being delighted.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"Good, because it is," they continue their short walk to the stoop. Tim's turning towards her once again, wrapping his arms around her midsection, his lips grazing her forehead. "Go on a date with me."

It's a statement not a question but she answers anyway. "OK, when?"

"Whenever, you're free." Her parents and Tyra are leaving tomorrow, so she figures tomorrow night will be a safe bet.

"Tomorrow," she plants a kiss on his lips "at eight." She likes that they aren't playing games, there is no dancing around this attraction, so she's not going to bother to play hard to get. He mumbles an affirmative into her hair, and kisses her sweetly before entering the house.

* * *

The rest of the weekend goes by in a blur and Julie is completely run down when she finally says her goodbyes to her family and Tyra.

She has no idea what she and Tim are doing tonight, so she throws on a sun dress and a pair of sandals, figuring that'll work with anything. The phone is ringing as she puts the finishing touches on her makeup, and she reaches to answer it figuring it might be her parents saying they got home safe.

It's not.

His voice is like a memory. Julie easily recalls nights in college falling asleep on the phone, content with just listening to him breathe.

A mumbled 'hello?' takes her from her daydreams.

"Hi." Julie doesn't usually find herself at a loss for words but the hitch of Matt's breath reminds her that there is nothing usual about this.

"I just, your Dad…" Every part of her is fuming with the mention of her father. How dare he open this can of worms that she has so carefully closed, without a thought of how it would affect her. He's still talking and Julie can barely bring herself to listen. "He mentioned that you started teaching at Dillon and I just wanted to make sure...I just wanted to find out how everything was going."

"Everything is good." She doesn't want to ask him how he is. She doesn't want to imagine his life without her; she doesn't want to remember the way the sun light looked on his eye lids in the morning, or the way he smells after a workout. Julie can't bring herself to remember the peace that came with being in love with Matthew Saracen.

"That's good. You go to the game on Friday? Landry told me they won. It's a good thing – for Tim cause' ya'll know how they get." The mention of Tim's name has her swearing to herself, because Julie really can't have this conversation with Matt five minutes before her first official date with Tim.

"Yeah, it was a good game. Tim did great." Her voice is cracking and her façade is slowly breaking down.

"What's wrong Jules? Did Tim do something?" She had forgotten for a minute that he spent ten years loving her, that he knows the inflections of her voice and the changes in her breathing. She's crying now, big crocodile tears, and this is just so damn hard. She's been avoiding this conversation for over a year, and she knows that while she's infatuated with Tim Riggins a part of her heart still belongs to Matt, and that part might always belong to him.

"He didn't do anything wrong. He's doing something really good here. I just miss-" Matt's voice cuts her off, the hostility in his voice catching her off guard.

"You were the one who left Julie. You just left. You packed up your stuff and wrote a note. This was your choice."

She's bawling, and she can barely get the words out. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you Matt. I just couldn't stay and if you don't think I miss you every day-"

"I can't do this right now Julie, I have a new life. I'm living with somebody else. I just thought that maybe we could be friends, but I guess I'm still too angry and you're still too…goodbye Julie."

She didn't hear the doorbell him over her sobbing, but suddenly Tim is standing in front of her and she's aware that she's curled in a ball on the sofa, still clutching her cell phone.

He's dressed in jeans and a plaid button down looking just like he did at seventeen. "Are you okay Jules, what's wrong? Are your parents ok? Tyra?" He's pulling her into his arms, and she's burrowing into his hug, comforted by his warmth and the steady sound of his heart beating.

She's mumbling against his chest, and he gently pulls her face away so he can hear her. "It was Matt." That's all she has to say, and he looks into her eye's, planting a tender kiss on her forehead. She's leaning against him again, letting his shirt soak up her tears.

"I'm sorry. " His words are whispered and she can barely hear them over her hysterics, but Julie's instantly calmed down by the rumble of his chest and his fingers drawing circles on her back.

They sit like for awhile, Julie clinging to him life a lifeline as he kisses her on the top of her head, letting her grieve for everything she left behind.

When she finally stops the hysterics she can't help but he embarrassed by the scene she's caused. Tim's looking at her carefully, like she might break at any minute and instead of sadness all Julie can feel is anger. She's pissed at her Dad, and at Matt, and at this entire situation.

She stands from the couch, and watches as confusion settles onto Tim's features and she stalks into her bedroom.

"What're you doing?" He's following her into her bedroom, leaning against the door jamb as she bends down and throws on some flip flops.

"I'm putting on shoes. We're going out."

"But five seconds ago you were –" Julie doesn't really care if she seems insane at this moment. Tim dated Tyra for over a year, and dealt with Garrity, so she figures he's seen moments of female craziness.

"Tim. I want to go out. I need a drink and some food and I just want to forget about the past hour. She's giving him her best 'Tami Taylor I mean business face'. Tim must recognize it because he captures her lips with his own, and maneuvers them so she's pressed against the wall. He breaks away from her and when he speaks his breath against her ear causes her insides to quiver.

"Let's go." Their fingers are intertwined and before she even realizes what the hell is going on he's dragging her towards the front door.

Julie can't help but grin at him as she quickly locks her front door behind them, because she's never liked Tim more than she does in that moment.


	6. Here

A/N: Sorry for the delay! Midterms are the work of the devil. Please Review & share the love and the criticism – both are appreciated!

Disclaimer: I spend every day wishing I owned Tim Riggins, but alas it's just a dream. Rascal Flatt's owns the song.

**Chapter Five: Here**

& I'd relive all the years  
& be thankful for all the tears  
I've cried with every stumbled step  
that led to you and got me here

Two hours later she feels a little warm as she slides up next to Tim, leaning her belly against the bar, and shooting him what she hopes is an exasperated look. She's blowing her hair out of her eyes, as he turns her around so they are face to face.

"You really don't need another drink Jules." He's tucking those stray hairs behind her ear, and everything is fuzzy when he bends in so she can feel his breath against her skin.

"I know that I don't need you to tell me what I need." Her words feel heavy on her tongue as she motions to the bartender to bring her another shot.

He's laughing now, and the smile on his face combined with the drink in her hand has made forgetting about Matt's phone call a little easier. She can't help but frown as the brunette on the other side of the bar makes a come here motion to Tim while adjusting her shirt, making sure he gets a good look at her cleavage.

"Is that slut doing what I think she's doing?" In that moment Julie figures out that maybe she has had a little too much to drink, because the words come out a little louder than she planned and the bar is suddenly quiet as everyone turns to look at her.

"Julie," The words are a harsh whisper in her ear, and she turns to give Tim another look but before she can the woman on the other side of the bar is screaming insults.

"What did you call me bitch? The only slut I see here is you." Julie breaks from Tim's hold and attempts to cross the room, but then his arms are around her waist and suddenly she's upside down staring at his backside.

"What are you doing Tim? I'm going to beat her skanky ass down. First she hits on you like a tramp, and then she calls me a bitch and a slut." Her fists are banging against Tim's back as she wriggles in his grasp.

"You're causing a scene Taylor, and Buddy Garrity is somewhere in this bar watching you. I'm sure this is gonna' get back to your Daddy." He sounds so smug, and Julie couldn't give a damn if the entire town of Dillon is watching her. Tim must have realized he made a mistake bringing up her Daddy, because he's quickly pushing the door open and setting her down outside on the pavement, making sure to keep his hold on her.

"You arrogant ass hole, you think I care about my Daddy's opinion after the shit he pulled this weekend." He's looking at her like she has three heads as she continues to rant. "He called Matt, he fucking called Matt, so Matt called me and we fought and I cried and now here we are. My stomach hurts because I didn't get to eat dinner, and I'm exhausted and…stop looking at me like that." She's gesturing to him with her hands and he's still standing there wide eyed, his grip on her waist loosening.

"I think it's the five lemon drops you did that have your stomach turning Jules, but regardless a couple Alamo burgers will do you good." Julie can't help but be surprised and grateful. She figures that if she were here, in this situation with anyone else they would be lecturing and hauling her home, but not Tim. He seems to take it all in stride, but before she can voice her gratitude he's speaking again. "After we eat, you can tell me about this phone call with Matt and why it has you downing vodka like water."

She doesn't bother to respond, just follows him to the truck and lets him help her in. She giggles a little as he mutters to himself about 'the damn Taylor family' while starting up the engine.

* * *

Watching him has become her new favorite habit Julie thinks as she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. He's smiling at the teenage girl at the counter and Julie laughs as the girl fumbles around with their change dropping a couple coins on the ground. Before she knows it Tim's looking back at her as she sits on the front bumper of his pick up waiting for him. She can feel the heat in his gaze and desire coils like a fist in her belly.

The two veggie burgers she ate have soaked up some of the vodka and she's feeling embarrassed as she recalls her behavior in the bar. This entire night has been like an out of body experience, from Matt's phone call and her subsequent break down to her drunken temper tantrum.

The bells on the door are jingling as Tim exits, and desire is replaced by nervousness because she really doesn't want to have a conversation with him that centers on her ex. She's not sure where she's even supposed to start because the saga that is her relationship with Matt seems like it's been going on forever, and without a doubt Tim knows most of it.

He opens the door for her before he starts to speak, and the tenderness in his voice catches her off guard. "You had me worried tonight Julie." She can tell from the look in his eyes that he's serious, and so she just wraps her arms around him.

"I'm ok. Thanks for being there." Her words are muffled but she looks up at him and he's nodding in understanding. They break apart and Tim carefully shuts the door, their eyes meet through the window and Julie wants nothing more than to touch him.

He's slipping into the driver's seat and Julie lets her hand wander over to his waist, twining her fingers through his belt loop. He doesn't turn to look at her but she can see his lips turn up in a smile.

"You want to go somewhere and talk?" Every bone in Julie's body is urging her to say no, but instead she says yes.

"We can just go to my place and talk. I'll make a pot of coffee."

The drive flies by and by the time they sat down at her kitchen table Julie's quickly losing her nerve. "I'm not sure what you want to know Tim."

His leg brushes against hers underneath the table she's instantly put at ease, it was like just touching him flipped a switch. "I want to know why I found you in a ball curled up on your couch. I want to know why you really left Matt. I want to know why your Daddy can't stop getting in the middle of you two. I want to know whatever you want to tell me Julie. "

Julie wished she could tell him, wished she could explain to him the way Matt used to look at her, like she was something that would break. She wished she could explain how hard it was to love him with everything inside of her but to not be in love with him anymore. Julie wasn't sure when this got so out of hand, when her hesitant friendship with Tim transformed into the two of them sitting at her kitchen table at midnight having a heart to heart.

Wrapping her hands around the warm mug she looks down at the brown liquid, and then up at him. His face is like in an open book, a combination of curiosity and kindness etched on his brow, and all of the sudden she's lost in a memory of high school. She remembers watching him across the cafeteria, or at the dinner table when he stayed with her family, even then she couldn't believe the way emotions scattered themselves across his face.

Julie could never figure out why no one else saw it, no one else saw that this hard headed, red-neck bad seed, was nothing more than a lost little boy. In those moments she knew why Tyra couldn't really stop caring about him, and why Lyla was willing to risk everything for a few stolen moments.

She looks him in the eye, and speaks, and all of the sudden it's just that easy. "I told you before Tim. I just couldn't stay there with him. I was literally losing myself. "She stops to take a breath before continuing on. "I was pregnant, when he proposed." If Tim is surprised he's hiding it well. "I said yes, and then I lost the baby and it was like everything had changed. I couldn't remember why I even wanted to marry him. All of the sudden I woke up one morning and realized that I wasn't in love anymore." She takes a drink of coffee and it burns a bitter trail to her stomach.

She can feel the tears building up in the corner of her eye as Tim takes her hand. She knows that if she doesn't keep talking she'll never get to finish. "Don't get me wrong. I love Matt, a part of me will always love Matt, but I just wasn't in love anymore. I didn't get butterflies, or weak knees. I guess most people would settle for that, but I spent my entire life in a house with Eric and Tami Taylor. I watched my parents' slow dance in the kitchen on a random Monday afternoon or Thursday morning. I could see the way my Mom's face lit up when my Dad walked in a room, the way she wrung her hands at his games. I want what they have, I couldn't and I won't settle for anything less than that."

Tim's nodding his head in understanding; his fingers are on her cheeks, wiping tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "It makes sense Julie. I remember looking at your parents' together, laughing at something at a football barbeque and thinking 'that's what I want'. That week I spent in your house was the first time I saw what family really was. That's what got me here."

She wants to laugh, because it's that easy, releasing two years worth of demons. "I was curled in a ball because I haven't really had the nerve to talk to Matt since I left, and it was just hard, to hear his voice. He told me that he was living with someone else, and all of the sudden it was real – it's over." She knots their fingers together on the table top, trying to let him know that leaving Matt isn't a regret.

"I'm not sorry that I left him, I'm just sorry about the way I did it. I think that's why my Dad has been getting in the middle, because he knew that we both needed real closure. I might be giving him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm hoping that's why he called him this weekend, to let Matt know that I was happy and moving on, so Matt could let me know that he was doing the same."

Tim seems skeptical but he just sighs, and tightens his grip on her hands. "I'm exhausted Jules." For a moment she thinks he's angry with her because he lets go of her, but he laughs and shoots her a signature grin as he stands. "You are one of a kind Julie Taylor, that's for sure."

She laughs remembering their conversation yesterday. "I'm going to take that as a compliment Coach Riggins. And I'm sorry that we didn't get to go out on a proper date, or really celebrate your win. What about next weekend?"

She's cautiously hopeful, but he's still grinning as she walks him towards the front door. They stop in her tiny foyer, standing in the glow of her porch light as it filters in through the window. "What if I don't want to wait until the weekend?"

His voice sounds like sex, and Julie can't help but tremble as he plants a kiss below her ear. "Well, you're the one with the busy schedule Coach. You tell me when you want to go out?"

He's laughing now, a deep husky laugh, and his breath his hot on her skin. "What if I don't want to go out?"

She's sure she looks like a deer caught in the headlights, as he moves away from her and opens the front door.

"My place, seven-thirty, I'm making us dinner." With that he's shutting the door behind him, and Julie's breathless and wordless once again.


	7. Near to You

A/N: Ok so I've been living abroad for the past six months and have finally had the time to write now that I'm home. So here's a little bit for you guys and I promise more SOON!

**Chapter 6: Near to You**

_You and I have something different  
& I'm enjoying it cautiously  
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard  
to get back to who I used to be_

Swinging her car into Tim's driveway, Julie takes a minute to compose herself before heading towards the front door. It had been the day from hell, dealing with High School students still on a high after the first big game was stressful enough, doing it with a hangover was near impossible. Catching a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror, she sighs, pulling out her bun and running her finger through her hair.

Standing at his front door Julie could smell the barbeque and hear the din of the radio so after her third knock she follows the path around the back of the house. He's singing along to Dierks Bentley standing in front of the barbeque and she can't help but smile at the sight. When their eyes meet across the yard Julie can feel the stress drain out of her.

"Get over here Taylor." His arms are open and she laughs into his t-shirt as he pulls her close, "Rough day?"

She pulls away a little and presses her mouth against his, losing herself in the moment instead of answering his question. He laughs into her kiss and she's all too aware that she is setting the mood of the evening.

"So, what's cooking good looking?" She asks, grabbing a bottle of water on the table and peering over his shoulder at the grill.

"I know you're one of those rabbit girls so I figured I'd grill up some vegetables and throw them over some pasta – nothing fancy." It hits her all of sudden that this Tim Riggins is a very different individual than the one she knew in high school. Seventeen year old Tim Riggins would have never noticed that little Julie Taylor was a vegetarian, or that she had a bad day just by the look on her face.

Sitting down at the little white plastic table she smiles up at him, "Sounds good to me Chef Riggins."

It's a comfortable night and the conversation comes easy between the two of them, and all of the sudden dating is just that simple.

"and Lyla has got this look on her face like she would rather be anywhere but Mexico with us losers, and Jay keeps rambling about shark marrow. It was a disaster of epic proportions."

The chorus of _Lay Lady Lay_ is kicking into gear and she shivers as Tim's voice trails off and Dylan's picks up. They sit there for a little and Julie likes the way the silence falls undemanding between them and when he stands and picks up a couple of plates she follows with their glasses.

His place is just a little cluttered, news papers and play books are scattered on the table along with a couple empty coffee cups and an ashtray. She likes that he didn't bother to straighten up, likes that he's confident enough in himself to not bother with any of the normal pretenses.

"Want a tour? I'll clean these later." His voice and the clanging of dishes break her out of her reverie. He's looking at her like he wants to eat her alive and it's been too long since she's felt a body entwined with her own so she sends him what she hopes is a lustful look and grabs a handful of his t-shirt, pulling him against her.

His mouth gives to hers and the kiss suddenly becomes hungrier as he pushes her back against the refrigerator. His hands are tracing a path from her face to her hips, lingering near her breasts. They break apart for just a minute and her heart beat is a loud echo as blood rushes from her head.

"Bedroom," It comes out as a whisper and Julie's almost embarrassed by how needy she sounds. But he doesn't answer her just grabs her by the hand and leads her down the hall. They are losing clothes and he chuckles huskily when her head bangs against a picture frame as he places a kiss on her collarbone.

They both laugh when their jeans get stuck around their ankles near the doorway and they stumble into each other, falling against the end of his bed in a naked pile of limbs. When they find themselves finally situated under the sheets the ease of the moment is gone and the only thing Julie is left with is desire.

* * *

She wakes up to the ringing of a foreign alarm clock and Tim's hand pulling her tight against his warm body as he mumbles unintelligible curse words into her hair.

"What time is it?" her voice is gravelly, and the sun is low in the sky.

"A little before six." She shifts in his arms and end up on his chest, looking up at his face. Sometimes when she looks at him it's a little hard to breathe, and it isn't any different when he's all tangled up in her and sunlight.

It's a nice way to wake up and Julie snuggles further into him and thinks that it's just a tiny bit terrifying that she could get used to this.


	8. Learning to Breathe

A/N: This is going to be the never ending story I think and catching up on Season Three might have me head over heels for Matt and Julie but Tim never fails to make me weak in the knees. Reviews are like gold! So please, please let me know what you think! And KEEP watching FNL on NBC – lets get a fourth season.

**Chapter Seven: Learning to Breathe**

_Hello, good morning, how do you do?_

_What makes your rising sun so new?_

_I could use a fresh beginning too_

_All of my regrets are nothing new_

_So this is a way, that I say I need You_

She stumbles from Tim's bed at quarter after six, turning down his proposal for a group shower while collecting her clothes.

"You sure you don't want to come to morning workout with me?" He laughs while she shakes her head 'no' looking bleary eyed and half awake. After a couple of rounds of mind blowing sex she had slept like a rock

There are words building in her chest while she watches the back of him through the full length mirror in his bedroom, wiping the makeup from under her eyes and fixing her hair. Julie can't help but wonder what's running through his mind as he slips on his standard Panthers polo and a pair of jeans.

"You're quiet in the morning." The words seem to echo through the room as Tim sits on the end of the bed and ties his sneakers. She doesn't bother turning around but meets his eye through the glass.

"I guess…" her voice trails off because for once in her life she's not really sure what to say but as he goes to leave the room she continues, scared to let him leave. "I guess I just want to thank you again."

He's giving her one of those quizzical looks like he's really trying to understand what she means but he can't quite wrap his head around it, but his lips slide into a smile as he walks towards her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then her lips. He's a breath away when he speaks "you don't have to thank me for anything Jules", and with a slight smirk he continues "it's all been a pleasure".

She laughs at him, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on his chest and pushing him away. "You better go or you're gonna' be late for practice. I'll stop by your room during my free period – we can eat lunch together…if that's alright with you?"

He's yelling that it's a good idea as he makes his way down the hall and with a brief goodbye and a reminder to lock up he's out the door. She can't help but grin as she watches him climb into his truck from the bedroom window and as he drives away she spins around the room throwing her flip flops in the air and squealing with delight.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Her day was long and it's nice to just slip her shoes off and sink into the couch with a glass of wine and a stack of papers to grade.

The phone rings as she settles in and Julie holds her breath hoping its Tim but she can't help but smile at the sound of her Mama's voice on the line.

"Hey pretty girl," and the conversation starts and ends quickly and then Julie's hanging up the phone with tears in her eyes and promises to visit; just like that her Daddy has cancer.

She's in shock searching for her purse, and without even thinking about it she's sliding into a pair of flats and pulling on a sweatshirt on her way out the door. The radio is playing some sad country song as she backs out of the driveway.

Julie's not really sure where she is going and her brain is going a million miles an hour as she sips her Alamo Freeze shake heading down some dark back road. It ends up taking her to the high school and she almost laughs at the irony as she slips her car into park and climbs out.

It's cool out and the sky is slowly fading from a burnt orange to a dark blue as she makes the short walk to the football field. Her cell phone is ringing in her bag and one quick look at the display lets her know it's her Aunt Shelly; she silences it throwing it back into her purse.

She doesn't bother with the bleachers and just hops the short fence that separates the stands from the track. The grass is damp but she doesn't mind and she just lays back and takes a deep breath, willing herself to calm down as she replays her Mama's voice.

"_Your Daddy had a couple tests done and it looks like he's got some form of pancreatic cancer." It's a matter of fact statement but Julie can hear the pull in Tami's voice. _

"_What?" Julie's pretty sure she heard wrong._

"_He's sick Julie. He has cancer, and I'm not really sure if this is the best way to tell you. I didn't want to worry you this weekend by telling you about the tests until we knew for sure…but now we know and it felt wrong to wait to tell you in person." Julie can almost hear the plea, hear her Mama beggin' her not to flip out, not to lose it. _

"_I'm coming up there tomorrow. I'll get a substitute. I'll take a leave of absence. Anything you need Mom I'll be there." She's already making lists in her head and trying to figure out where she put her suitcase and if she has Principal Tanner's number in her cell phone. _

"_Don't do anything drastic yet Jules, he has a couple more appointments and the doctors are gonna' put together a treatment plan and I'll keep you updated. When and if you need to come out I'll let you know. You do not need to disrupt your whole life when you just got settled – that would just upset your Daddy even more." _

Julie's positive it was an order but she's not really sure how's she's supposed to go on with her life when her father, the strongest person she's ever known, is sick and a couple hundred miles away.

Suddenly the sky is brighter and the stadium lights are flicking on one by one, and Julie can feel her chest constrict as she remembers her first night in Dillon, lying on this very field with her Mom as her Dad shouted to them from the press box, flicking on the lights and shouting about how great it was all going to be, Julie was skeptical until later when he joined them on the field and he pulled Julie close whispering 'Welcome Home' into her ear.

"We don't take trespassing lightly here in Dillon." It's a harsh warning, and Julie holds her breath until she realizes its Tim, holding a playbook and a cup of coffee. He's standing in the end zone, and he breaks into a smile as Julie stands up and turns around to face him. By the way the smile on his face quickly turns into a frown and the speed that he drops his playbook and runs to her Julie can take a guess that she looks about as good as she feels.

When he grabs her by the arms and pulls her into his chest the tears begin before he can even ask what's wrong. The words come out in gasps as she chokes back sobs "He's sick, my dad, he has cancer."

Tim's pushing her away and tilting her chin up so their eyes meet, and just like he's taking a step back and breathing in deep. Julie can almost see the walls he's putting up, feeling the distance between them growing.

"What?"

She wipes her tears with the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt before she starts. "My mom called, he has pancreatic cancer. They need to do more tests to decide what's going on and what stage it is and all that…"

" Julie, I" and he's stuttering and shifting back and forth on his feet, turning away from her and running his fingers through his hair, "I don't know what to say."

He's visibly breaking at the seams and Julie can't be strong for him, can't watch him fall apart when she's barely holding it all together. She just lies back on the grass, staring at the vast blackness that is the Dillon sky. She sighs as Tim settles in next to her and starts to talk.

"I figure that the best and the worst moments of my life have happened right here. Ya' know watching Street go down, wins and losses in high school, drinking beers with the boys – with Smash and Matty, and even seeing you here the other night, kissing you here. And now this? Your Daddy is the best man I've ever met and to think…"

He trails off, rolling over onto his side and into her body, twining his fingers with hers "…today started out pretty good it's a shame it's got to end this way."

She laughs, brushing the hair out of his eyes and placing a kiss on his nose, "at least it's ending with us together. It could have just been me sitting out here by my lonesome, crying. Plus the night doesn't really have to end now does it?" She checks her watch, "it's only eight-thirty."

"What do you suggest we do Ms. Taylor?" He's pulling her up on her feet and twirling her around in a little circle.

She breaks out into a grin and presses her lips against his, murmuring in between kisses. "How about we go back to my place and see if we can't end today _exactly _as we started it." He releases a throaty laugh and as they walk off the field hand in hand she lets herself believe that maybe, just maybe, everything I'll be alright.


	9. Cowboy Take Me Away

Chapter Eight: Cowboy Take Me Away

_I wanna be the only one_

_For miles and miles_

_Except for maybe you_

_And your simple smile_

A/N: This chapter murdered me, and this just sort of drug out and I'm not really sure anything even happened... but it's all I had in me. Thanks for your patience and I'm just gonna power through this writer's block.

"I can't do this anymore Mama. I can't sit around waiting to hear from you, wondering if everything's okay. I want to come up there – now." It's another Friday night, and this time Julie is so exhausted she can barely work up the energy to throw on an old Panther's t-shirt and some jeans. She has spent the past week on the phone with her Mother and tumbling in and out of bed with Tim both have taken it's toll on her.

"I love you baby girl, but you cannot come home right now. You have responsibilities there, and you can't just leave them." Julie knows that the Principal is counting on her, and she still hasn't had the time to get to know all of the kids in her classes. She won't even begin to analyze it but the thought of leaving Tim, even for just a couple of days has her heart doing a funny little dance in her chest. "You need to get on the road now, it's gonna take you at least forty-five minutes to get to the game."

Before she can even respond her Mama's hung up the phone and the dial tone is echoing in her ears. Throwing her cell into her purse she grabs a sweatshirt from the pile of laundry on the kitchen table and heads for the door.

She doesn't bother with the radio in the car, and she enjoys the sound of the silence. She cries a couple of times, thinking of long drives to Austin and Dallas. State championships, and away games. She remembers the wins, the taste of victory on a rainy Texas night, but it's the losses that stay with her. One speech in particular from her Daddy in a locker room at Austin where they talked about love and pride, and how that game had changed of all them.

She can see the lights on the field from the highway, it's nothing like Panther Stadium but it'll do. Parking her car she see's Tyra and Landry standing by the gate, both waving to her like they haven't seen her in years. In the tidal wave of the past week she forgot that they were planning on coming to the game. There is a simple beauty of a high school football field on game night, she aches just a little watching groups of students pile into the stadium.

"Hey girly." For a moment she's sixteen, and the three of them are stumbling into an away game. The night is full of promise and she wishes that her parents were here. Wants to see nerves written on her Mama's face and the grit of determination on her Daddy's brow.

The bleachers are packed already but the three of them squeeze into a row with Billy. She lets herself laugh at the pins proudly displaying both Bo and Tim attached to his t-shirt.

"Nice flare Billy." Tyra's all sarcasm but Landry looks a little jealous as she fingers the metal circles on his chest.

"Shut up Collette." Tyra just laughs and entwines her fingers with Landry. It's something she's seen done a thousand times, but the intimacy of the gesture almost takes her breath away. She turns from the two of them, brushing up against Billy as she moves in her seat. "You alright Taylor? I heard about Coach."

"I'm alright Billy, just a little worried." The smile fades from his face, and he looks just like Tim did when she told him. She grins, for his benefit. "My daddy's pretty tough. I have a feeling he'll be fine."

When he responds it's a whisper as the crowd roars when the home team takes the field. " I sure hope so."

Tim finds them in the stands, and Billy elbows her to get her attention. She sends him a wave and a dorky thumbs- up. He half smiles at her and she knows that his thoughts are on the field.

"So what's going on between you and Timmy?" It's Landry this time, and she can almost feel the people listening in the stands around them. She doesn't want to be fodder for the gossip mongers but Tyra and Billy are looking at her like if she doesn't answer they are going to eat her alive.

"We're hanging out." It's said with a shrug and she's trying to be nonchalant as all three of them start to laugh. "What are you laughing at?"

It's Tyra who answers."The idea of you and Tim Riggins hanging out. What parallel universe are we living in?" She shrugs again and let's it be. Because whatever her and Tim have going on is fragile and she's not going to be the one to upset the balance.

The first half ends, and the Panthers are up by fourteen. Landry buys them all hotdogs and Billy makes them laugh when he whips a six pack out of a duffel bag, tossing them empty cups and cold cans of Bud Light.

It's typical and they all breathe deep when Bo runs in another touch down with a couple minutes left in the fourth, the margin safe enough to guarantee victory. They jam the empty's into Billy's bag when a fellow teacher walks by to leave the stadium, which sends Tyra and her into another fit of giggles.

"Seriously, if this whole thing wasn't surreal enough. Here we are dodging and hiding beer cans." The parking lot is packed with parents and friends waiting for the boys to exit the locker room, and Billy's working on convincing Tyra and Landry to come back to Dillon and grab a couple of drinks with them. She sits on the hood of her car, and is glad that she sucked it up and came to the game. It proved to be a good distraction from the mess of her life, and just when she gets comfortable she hears Tim's voice over the crowd.

"Clarke!" It's not her name but she smiles none the less as Tim half hugs Landry, and places a kiss on Tyra's forehead. He gives Billy a slap on the back before heading towards her.

"Hey Little Taylor." The words are pressed against her lips as he leans in and steals a kiss. He smells like a locker room, and she can taste the cigarette he must have snuck at half time. He slips away, and just like that he's gone with a promise of a victory get together at his house.

* * *

Two hours later she's almost drunk and singing along to Sugarland with Tyra and Mindy. There are people she doesn't really know sitting next to people she knows too well on Tim's patio. They are all laughing and she catches Tim's eyes as Tyra and her dance around the pool.

She feels happy, and singing about small towns and big life's she laughs because it's all sort of ironic that this place that used to feel like a trap is all of the sudden the only place she feels free. There are arms around her, and she knows without looking that the hard body behind her is Tim.

"Hey," she spins around to face him, soaking in the smell of him. "Haven't had a chance to get my hands on you yet."

His hands are buried in her back pockets as they sway to the music, and for a minute she's not that drunk and she's acutely aware of the eyes on them. She lets it go because it feels too good to be wrapped up in him.

"Stay tonight?" She says 'yes' and it's easy. Julie's sort of terrified how easy it is becoming to be with him, to lose her self in the way his body feels against her's. There are conversations they should be having, they are both too battle scarred for it all to be 'no big deal'. Feeling his heart beat stutter against her own she knows she's already in way over her head.

An hour later they are bundled up in his bed sharing a plate of cold nachos and basking in the afterglow. Tyra and Landry are tucked in the guest room and she can hear their muffled laughter through the walls.

"Seven called me earlier today." Tim is looking at her carefully, and she can see him trying to gauge her reaction.

"Did he?" Her response is through a mouth full of food and she refuses to ask what he called to talk about.

Tim sees through her blasé reply and answers the questions left unsaid. " He just wanted to catch up, talk football..."

"And?" Julie knows that there are probably times not to discuss your ex-boyfriend, naked eating nachos with the man you are currently seeing is probably one of them. She doesn't care.

"He asked if I've seen you around. How you were doin', and all that." He tilts her chin up with his thumb, forcing her to look him in the eye. " I told him the truth."

Matt knows, she would worry about his reaction but the conversation they shared last week is still a little fresh and instead she hopes it hurt. "What did he say?"

She's curious because it couldn't have been easy finding out that the boy would could have anyone in high school now has your first love.

"He told me to be good to you..." He half smiles before continuing. "and to be careful because you might break my heart."


End file.
